Life is always a repeat?

Do you ever have situations that just seem to repeat in your life? That is how my life seems to be. I relive the same situation with just a tiny bit different factors. It's like I am cursed. I can't seem to get out of this rut. Most of the time, said situations involve others, and I am sure they have the nicest intentions, but it never really turns out.... for me at least. I love being the "friend" and all but sometimes it gets old. Sometimes having people open up to you is not as fun when there are tiny pieces that involve you which they know nothing about. I had just been thinking about this a lot and thought I would share.

Complicated..... I know. You can just say it's my life.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Everyone!

I'm done!!!!

Last night, I was finishing my paper for my 492 class. I was stressing just a little because it wasn't the full page requirement. It was a well written paper so I went ahead and turned it in. This was my last thing to do as an undergraduate. Well I got my grade back this morning.... it's an A. I got my A's this semester! I am done with school!!! Graduation here I come!!!!!!!!!!!!

Days when you feel like crap.

So this week I had the begginings of a cold. I sounded/ looked terrible, but in all I didn't feel that bad and I could still breathe. Last night it all sank in. Talk about no sleep because you can't breathe through either nostril.

Anyways this morning, I felt like crap so I threw my hair up in a messy bun and put on my juicy track suit. When I got on the bus this morning, the bus drivers said "You look cute today, where are you going?" CUTE?!?!?!? Really? I feel like crap and have my hair in a HUGE messy bun and am wearing a track suit. Got to love the days when you feel you look like crap and others think you look good.

Shmoosing/ Christmas spirit

So tonight, I was asked to present my research to the Arizona Board of Regents and be there for a little reception before their dinner. When I got to the McPark building, we were given instructions to not talk unless spoken to. As the regents came in we politely said our hello's and what not. Finally one of the teachers told us to talk and then we were asked to go mingle with our guests. All 3 university (UofA, NAU, ASU) presidents were there and then the board of regents. President Shelton greeted me and then continued to say that he liked my bow (I was wearing a black headband with a big bow on it). In all the night was just weird/ interesting. We were basically there to shmoose. It was just kind of awkward. Too bad I don't drink because there was an open bar and we were all welcome to get a drink.

On another note I watched Glee tonight and holy cow. Talk about putting me in the Christmas spirit. I have been so busy with school and graduating that I had once again forgotten Christmas spirit. Glee reminded me of how fortunate I am. As soon as I get home, I am going and picking a Christmas Angel!I want to be able to spread the many blessings I have in my life to those less fortunate.

On a side note, can I just say how much I love Christmas music. I can't stop listening to it. I listen to it so much that I may run out of Pandora hours!

May you all be so blessed and enjoy this Christmas Season! Love you all!

Sick+Finals+Stress= No Bueno!

So it's the last week of school. I thought I would be fine...... until Sunday during church I realized how much I actually had to do this week. Um a ten page single spaced paper (group which is even worse), a 7 page paper, and a 6-7 page paper, preceptor write up/ log...... um SHOOT! I seriously freaked that I left church early. Do you ever have those times when your mind just starts racing and it won't slow down. Ya, that was me.

So I was starting to feel a little better Monday when I was able to accomplish a lot! Then, I got sick. I honestly feel like crap. My throat hurts and I sound/ look like crap. I have no color in my face whatsoever. Just great. Stress of everything from above and now being sick?!?!? Seriously, do I not get a break. I have not been sick ALL semester, of course it would have to be now.

I have only 10 days left until graduation. I will get through being sick and all this stress that comes with projects simply by remembering Graduation! I just keep telling myself, much like the little train, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I CAN!"

When one chapter closes another opens

As I have told many people, it is my time to leave Tucson. Tucson has given me what it has needed to. I have met my bestest friend in the whole widw world (whom I miss quite a bit) here with so many more extremely close friends, they may as well be best friends. There are so many other people, that while we don't hang out all the time, I love them so much and will miss them!

However, as graduation is right around the corner, this chapter of my book is closing. I will still re-read this chapter a lot and maybe even visit it more than I should (especially because my sister is still here and all of my friends on missions will be coming back here) but it's time to move on. I need to start a new chapter. I need to do something else with my life. Hence, why one chapter is closing and another one is opening. Hopefully this new chapter will be just as exciting as the last! <3

Um dumb

I just don't get some people sometimes. Like SERIOUSLY?!!?!? I realize that all people have issues, but really? Sometimes it's not as hard as people make it.

On another note only 16 days until graduation! I had my last and final test as an undergrad today!!! I still have a group paper to do and another paper, but nothing I can't handle. This part of my book is slowly closing it's cover.

God has given me friends..... who truly understand me

Man, I can't say how greatful I am for the friends in my life. I honestly feel that God put certain people in my life at certain times because he knew I would need them. I wrote an awkward letter to a friend of mine in which I didn't think I would get a response. Yet, this person knew exactly what to say and didn't let it get between our friendship. Best yet, this person qouted the Spice Girls at the end of this letter stating "friendship never ends." I seriously have amazing/ incredible/ wonderful friends. The fact that they understand me, simply makes me smile. It makes my day that much better. I am glad that my friends will still be my friends even if I write awkward letters or am a complete dork-nerd. It is those people, my amazing friends, around the state and world that I love SO much. Thank you to all of my friends out there who just get me. I am complex, I understand, but the fact that you get me, makes us that much closer.

Qouting a friend of mine who qouted the Spice Girls "Friendship Never Ends"

Jobs

It has come to be that time where I have to start applying for jobs. Man, can I just say this is incredibly stressful. Not only am I trying to finish school and what not, but apply for jobs and grad school = no fun. So far I have only applied at my ideal job. I applied last week and am waiting to hear back from them. Today I started looking at more options. I will probably start applying for more jobs at the end of the week.

Can I just say that becoming a real adult is stressful. Sure yes, I still have 2 more years of school for my masters, but getting a real job, with salary that is WAY more then I have ever made is crazy/ scary. It's like bam... you are an adult now, have fun! This scares me, yet excites me at the same time.

Last wednesday I was in downtown Phoenix for a concert. I got to see the campus I will be on for my masters degree. There is is this really cute shopping complex just across the street. I suddenly became really excited to get out of Tucson and move on in my life. The next chapter of my book is opening quite quickly!

Thankful

There are days in my life that completely suck, yet the Lord somehow always reminds me of the many blessings I have in my life. I am so greatful for all of my friends that are currently serving missions around the world. I have 4 amazingly awesome good friends out right now and I just absolutely love hearing from them. Hearing their experiences and joys just simply make my day. It reminds me of how thankful I am to have the gospel in my life. Even if many days I do take it for granted, I still have the joy in my life. I hope and pray that all of my friends and the missionaries around the world continue to have success finding the people that are ready to hear the gospel and learn of his word.

As we start the month of November, I challenge each and every one of you to remember the things that you are most greatful for. I am going to try my darnest to remember my blessings everyday this month and try to continue it out throughout the year, not only in this month of thanks.

God bless you all.

Life

So this past week has been very interesting. Friday night I got to be the fifth wheel on what seemed like a double date (even though in all technicality it wasn't, it just ended up that way). It was kind of annoying and obnoxious and let's just say I won't do that again. It was that night that I really missed my bff Erica. I love hearing from her via letters, but sometimes I just wish she was back. Sure we had our differences and at points didn't get along but I still love her to death. She understands me more than any of my other friends, simply because there are certain things we have in common. It just makes me think back to our Friday nights and how if we had nothing to do (which was quite common), we would make it girls night..... oh wait that was like every night. Oh how I seriously miss her.

Friday/ Saturday I presented my research/ article that is under review at the Student Showcase. FMI sponsored my poster which is MASSIVE! Presenting was fun, but kind of scary at the same time. I didn't win, but that was ok. I knew that I would probably never write or do research again so this was my chance. The experience was fun in all, but I don't think social science research is as highly regarded as actual science (the chemistry/ biology) research is. Whatever.

I guess the real reason I write this is because I am so thankful for the people that I have in my life. I am thankful that if needed I can go home to a family and get a nice big hug from them. I have friends that I can talk to, even if they are not in the same are as me. I am so blessed in my life and sometimes I take that for granted. Life is not easy, but sometimes that is what helps us grow and become the person we are today.

Outstanding Senior/ BFF

After a LONG and tiring application process, my hard work has paid off! I was chosen as not only the FSHD Outstanding Senior for the Fall '10 graduates, but also the Outstanidng Senior for the Norton School of Family and Consumer Sciences! So out of all the graduates in 3 different majors, I was chosen as the best. Now my application gets sent to the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences and I have the opportunity to win there as well (although that is gonna be a lot harder). From what I have found online I get a clock and a plaque. I was pretty excited. It is another amazing thing that I get to add to my resume. I finally feel like all of my hard work and extra-ciricular activities paid off. All I can say is GO ME!

On the second note can I just say how much I love my best friend Erica?!?!? She is seriously AMAZING. She is currently serving a mission in the Denver CO North mission. Sunday, I wrote her an email about something that I needed her advice on. She was the only one who could really answer my question and knew the whole background story to it. She is only technically allowed to email family back, but I needed her to get this and taking a letter was going to take to long. So on Tuesday, at the same time of when I found out that I had won Outstanding Senior, I also got an email from her. Technically yes, she was breaking the rules, but to her defense she had already written my letter that day and didn't have the time to write another one. I LOVE the fact that she responded and I SO wish that we could email all the time as it would be so much quicker. So ya, that is why I love Erica. She knew enough that this problem needed to be answered and she did. She will always be my best friend forever and always! I miss her tons!

Okay thats enough for today. School is good, internship is even better, everything is there and life is going.

Honesty

They always say that honesty is the best policy..... is this true always? There are many times when I have kept my thoughts and feelings to myself because frankly I was either too afraid to say something or thought it would be rude. After sitting in many group counseling sessions and learning so much from my amazing internship, I have decided that I need to be more honest. I need to not fear about things not turning out the way I want them, oh well. I am sick of hiding and not speaking my mind. I am tired of internalizing all of my emotions to vent them to people that probably don't care. So, that is why my new goal with life is to be more honest. Of course there are some things that I probably won't say, frankly to be nice, but if I can I will speak my mind.

That is my rant for the night. Honesty is almost always the best policy.

Graduation/ Tucson

So I have officially hit that point in the semester where I am just beyond ready to graduate. I am over Tucson and over everything that it has to offer. While I still LOVE LOVE LOVE my internship, everything else is just piling up. However, I only have 75 days left until graduation! That makes me so incredibly excited!!!! I am ready to graduate and start a new chapter in my life. I am ready to start working and being an advocate for children. I am also extremely ready to apply for grad. school and get that next chapter rolling.

This happens every year, when I hit this lull, so hopefully everything will perk back up. But, more than likely that is not going to happen so until then. 75 days until graduation and 82 days until I go on vacation! Yahoo!

Talking and Advice

So first off, I threw out my back this past weekend and frankly it still hurts. I am still on heavy pain meds and even that doesn't cut all the pain, but oh well. Time will prevail.

Last night I was talking to a friend of mine and we were talking about life and what not. While we were friends before, we weren't besties and frankly didn't know all that much about each other. After last night, I feel there is a deeper bond. I think it's funny how sometimes people just get you. She said some things to me, that really made me stop and think about myself. She challenged my thought processes about myself and other things and I really appreciated that. Sometimes, you just need that friend to get you back into check.

I worry about things, sometimes stupid things all the time but I know that things will work out how they are supposed to. Thanks B.

LOVING my internship

This semester I have the opportunity to intern at a counseling agency here in Tucson. I work with substance abusers, sex, offenders and next week I start domestic violence. While sometimes these sessions are difficult, last night was one of the most amazing and touching nights of my life. I have a client who on the first day of group told me straight up that things were weird because I was there and that I really just need to speak up and become one of the group. He then let me sit in on his individual counseling session. Last night was his last night and during his goodbye ceremony he gave me the greatest compliment I could have ever received. "This girl is amazing and a really good listener." He told the whole group that. It was such a relief to me because I hope that while I don't actually counsel these individuals I have some impact on their life. This statement made by this man reconfirmed that I want to be a counselor. I want to be able to make a difference in people's lives. Can we fix everyone? No, it's not possible. But a small impact is all we need.

I also almost feel like I learn just as much from these sessions as the clients do. One of my clients last night said "you have to learn to love yourself before you can fix the rest of your problems." This statement profoundly had a lasting effect on me. It is something that is so true and something that I need to work on personally. Last night was an emotional night, but I truly feel so blessed to have this opportunity. I LOVE my internship and I know that God had a plan for me. I love the gospel and I am so thankful for my many friends on missions right now. I know that they can bring others unto happiness, so that they may have the joy that I feel right now in my heart.

I figured out my password

So for the longest time I could not remember my password for the life of me. I tried a million different things and then I just reset my password. Little did I remember that the email that was used to set up this account had been deleted! So today, I was reading my sisters blog and thought "What the heck, I will try again." It worked! I can now get back to blogging, which makes me excited because Facebook is now extremely boring!

I will post more later as it's time to run.